Political parties...

[hugme]

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:


You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 cal and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus

Republican's Answer:
BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click..... (sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Comments

[sugared-redhead.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO

[lokii.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking Remington Golden Sabers instead, and with the Glock 22 in .40 there'd be 17 "bangs", no click as he does a tectical reload, 18 "bangs", click and then the perfect comment from his daughter. Truly a classic joke!

I find myself more an more a republican as time goes by. Go figure!? If I can just get them to change their views on a woman's right to choose then I'd have no problems with it even. =]

[dement1a.livejournal.com]

I love that. What, does he have "Hello, my name is Islamic Terrorist" on a little sticker on his chest?

While I'm a democrat just because it's the lesser of the two weevils, I'd just shoot the guy and feel bad later.

[hugs.livejournal.com]

I was wondering why his wife and kids didn't help... has he not trained them to draw fast enough yet? ;-)

[hugs.livejournal.com]

I am proud to be a libraterian... (but you knew that)

After shooting the guy who came at me and my family with a knife, not only would I not feel bad, but I would pinch his wallet after shooting him and use the money to buy pr0n... not that I need pr0n... but just for the irony aspect...

[hugs.livejournal.com]

oh wait... that should be "not that I need 'more' pr0n... ;-)

[lovelylotus.livejournal.com]

So....if I said "BANG! BANG!", but only to take out his knees so he could survive the ordeal to go through the "judicial" system but still be crippled from the knees down... What political party would that make me?

[hugs.livejournal.com]

that would be a REALLY bad idea... he would sue you for everything you have.

if you are ever in a situation where you have to shoot or go after someone.. make SURE they are dead... absolutly sure.

funny how our legal system works... you only get in trouble if they survive.

[lovelylotus.livejournal.com]

Oh Yeah!!! I live in the south... forgot about that rule... But honestly... if he was a terrorist... he wouldn't make it to the judicial system, let alone have time to sue me. Doesn't matter if he's a US citizen or not anymore either.

[of-the-myst.livejournal.com]

wow so based on that i'm somewhere between a Republican and a Southern Republican

[melonaise.livejournal.com]

It would be disrespectful and imply he couldn't protect his family on his own. If they were without a man in their midst, things would be different.

[melonaise.livejournal.com]

How about I change the situation to be with Boy and Elizabeth? I really don't see me having a wife and two children, even if you count Boy in drag as a wife.

I would shoot him in the face, because you never know when someone is wearing body armor. The bastards.

And I'm a bleeding-heart liberal democrat in most circumstances. I'm just also psychotic.

[hugs.livejournal.com]

forehead is a good spot.. you want to stop brain function... somewhere around the eyebrow I'm thinking....

"I'm a bleeding-heart liberal democrat in most circumstances. I'm just also psychotic."

yes... that's what makes you so adorable!! ;-)

[duality.livejournal.com]

this is funny considering i can't be sure my father would even know which end of the gun to point before shooting.

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

In my case the .40 would be my Sig P229; the BANG!s between reloads would number 12, and the loads would be 165gr Speer Gold Dot hollowpoints. (I'm not a huge fan of Bloc Glocks.)

And yet I consider myself a Libertarian, not a southern Republican. Weird.

[flyswatter.livejournal.com]

Wait a minute--I have a wife????